i've often wondered why my mom doesn't have friends. my parents never went on dates when i was little. when i was sixteen i discovered i had a half-sister from a dalliance my dad had a couple years after my parents were married. sometimes i wonder if that's the reason my mom doesn't have friends. she has co-workers and her sisters, but no friends. my dad has friends. he always has, people he's gone into business with and he shares interests with.
sometimes i think my mom doesn't have friends because she was always had a kid around. my oldest sister is 15 years older than me, my brother is 12 years older, and vanessa is 7 years older. maybe it's because of me...i came along too late and ruined her chance of friendship. or maybe she didn't have friends before. maybe my dad caused some incommunicable distrust among other women and my mom. my understanding is that she was friendly with the girl my dad had the affair with. or maybe her sisters have always been enough, they are only a few years apart.
there are three of them. my mom is the youngest and her oldest sister is only 4 years older than her. perhaps they were just always close and they didn't need anyone else. my aunt has friends though. people she would always be talking on the phone with. as far as i know, my mom only ever talks to her sisters and her kids on the phone these days.
sometimes i think i'm a lot like my mom in that i don't really need friends. i have friends, but i have to work very hard to keep them. i have to make an effort to return calls or to just answer the phone when they call. friends take work and i've got to get better or i will end up with zero friends (and probably no children) and i will be alone.
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- Melissa @ Life:Merging
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My mom hardly has friends either and if she does it's only one at a time. She's close with her cousins and they do things a lot.
ReplyDeleteI think that for that generation family was more important than cultivating friendships. Once they got married and had children their focus was on their kids and husbands and on their own families. That seemed to be enough for them. Plus they all got married relatively early.... and most of their kids didn't marry until later in life so our friends became just as important as family did to fill the void.
My mom has friends - not a lot, but not too few. But she does have sisters, including an identical twin, and they are all tight. I truly think they are each other's best friends.
ReplyDeleteI grew up an only child for the most part and while I always had friends, I was quite content being alone. As an adult I find that I have to work at keeping friendships up; it's almost as though they don't come naturally to me. I really regret the friendships that I have let slide for lack of upkeep.